The 25 List

So those of you on Facebook have probably seen millions of these lists going around lately, here’s mind to add to the clutter.

1. I’ve hit a hole-in-one, 13 3’s in a row, and my right foot with an axe.

2. I love new socks – I try them all on after opening the package so I can wiggle my toes. On the other hand, I hate wet socks with a passion.

3. I’m a term paper hitman – just name your price per page and I’ll write it up.

4. I like to sleep with a leg pillow, windows open and no excess sheets to get tangled in.

5. I hate running for running’s sake, and also for punishment’s sake. I also hate onions.

6. I like to think I can laugh with the best of ’em.

7. Jay and I nearly missed our college gradamamation due to sleeping in hangover city.

8. I wear out my shoes to the ground and feel guilty when I have to throw them out, often at other people’s suggestion/demand.

9. Things I’ve learned you should really not make habits of: waking up handcuffed to a hospital bed; walking into the ocean without emptying your pockets; and as alluded to previously, hacking into your foot with an axe.

10. Instinct trumps intellect.

11. I’ll bet you. On anything. Just to see.

12. I was born with thin, straight, blonde hair.

13. I dream of walking among random street corners in Buenos Aires and watching beautiful portenas tango while sipping red wine and eating steak from the pampas, followed by some cana and mate and a hazed trip home to a tiny apartment filled with music, books, paintings, and windows.

14. Some people say I’m the most competitive person they know.

15. I love public transportation and to ride my bike, when I get it.

16. If only I was a great painter, musician, architect, shit something. Or a trust fund kid. I’d take it.

17. I have memorized La Bamba – RIIIITTTTCCCHHHIIIIEEEEEE!

18. I’m an afternoon, sunshine, slight breeze, bballin metaphysician.

19. I like to tattoo myself will ballpoint pens cuz I’m terrified of needles – they have the tendency to make me faint – so does dissecting frogs in study hall apparently. Thus, fainting is also another thing I wouldn’t recommend making a habit of… oh, and also throwing up in freshman biology in Moorhead after not deciding to play it safe and head to the bathroom, hypothetically speaking, of course.

20. I once had my ear pierced but had to take it out for Little League, and because my dad laughed at me.

21. My favorite literary characters are Holden Caulfield, Borges, and (Wh)Oliveira.

22. I hope to never have a regular 9 to 5 j-o-fuckin-b.

23. I dislocated my wrist at recess in the third grade jumping off the swing trying to set the distance record. I told my mom it wasn’t a big deal, that my shirt got caught in the chain, that I wasn’t going that high, etc… The next day at school a traitor-friend of mine shouts out at me, with my mom by my side, “Oh man, Gabe, we knew you shouldn’t have jumped when you were that high!*” *Sinking feeling

24. Now that I’m thinking of the early version Gabe – in the 6th grade walking back to the school after the opposing rival class’ teacher cheated us out of the kickball championship on a shady as all hell call at home plate… and I quote myself: “God, Mrs. Taylor’s a bitch!” only to turn around to see, yes you guessed it, Mrs. Fucking Taylor, whom I now quote: “Well I’m glad to know how you feel, Gabe, and I’m sure your mom would like to know as well so I’ll be calling her just to let her know.**” **Repeat sinking feeling…

25. I go by many names, some to my face. G, G-Money, Garci-A, Garcia Kid, Gabriaaallll, G-Funk, G-Unit, G2, Gsquared, and Gabber…Lemme know of any others I should be aware of…

So that’s my random self.  Many of these things I am both proud and embarrassed by.  Such is the rake.

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~ by garcialoca on February 15, 2009.

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