Another book and Episode Two – the latest installment of ‘Random brushes with people who would like to do me physical harm’

So even though I have that stack of books that I got at the library’s book sale, I am checking out another: The Last Novel by David Markson.  I was ambling through the library not really looking for anything and I saw this and couldn’t resist checking it out.  It was published in 2007 and it’s about this character simply named ‘The Novelist’, a dying author writing his last novel.

Since it’s The Novelist’s last work, he possesses “carte blanche to do anything he damn well pleases,” which in this book means chronicling the lives of his favorite artists, athletes, scientist’s, whoever he feels compelled to write about.  That being said,  I have not yet read a single word besides this random passage I am about to turn to:

“Ittalo Calvino died after a cerebral hemorrhage suffered while sitting in a garden.”

I suppose I wouldn’t mind dying in a garden, as opposed to overdosing in some Midwest hotel room, or being fatally struck by a yellow moped on your lunch break, or being murdered by a stranger in some random alley at 3am in Santa Fe, who then steals the two remaining dollars in your worn leather wallet.

Yes, ‘a brain hemorrhage suffered while sitting in a garden,’  I could die with that.

Anyway, the whole book is composed in this staccato style, without anything like full paragraphs.  It almost seems like an inner monologue stream of consciousness account.

This should be right up my alley as it will allow me to pick it up and put it down all willy nilly style.  If I like this book I want to also read Markson’s Wittgenstein’s Mistress, which I almost checked out instead, but The Last Novel is shorter and therefore the natural pick.

Speaking of alleys, a group of us went out last night and I ended up raging solo after losing track of my cohorts at some point or another during our escapades.  Anyway, I eventually found myself facing a long hazy walk back downtown towards the Plaza after I ditched this random after party on foot.

The party was not a complete bust and they did get me high as the Sangre de Cristo’s with their expensive spirits and really dope dragon magic, but I decided to fade it as things were rapidly progressing down an unholy terrain.

But first I had to figure out where the hell I was and how far I was going to have to walk in my condition.

I eventually decided that a walk just might do me some good as long as I would be able to remember it in the morning.  There are two ways to not remember: to forget and to die.  As you might imagine, I mostly prefer the former.

So there I go off walking.

I’m enjoying the starry night sky and deserted streets thinking of Van Gogh and Borges at three in the morning as I cut through an alley near the Railyard park by Paseo de Peralta.

‘All of a sudden’ (because as we all know, this is how these types of occurrences occur) this sketchy dude emerges from the shadows ‘out of nowhere’ (because that’s how sketchy guys emerge) and immediately starts asking if he can introduce himself to me and to just talk for a minute. (And when I say asking, I really mean insisting.)

If I’ve learned anything living in bigger cities, it’s that nobody wants to ‘just talk’ at 3am in a dark alley with a perfect stranger.

Now, normally I am not the type to be disturbed by people asking for money or wanting to talk, even the more aggressive ones, but this was freaking 3am in a dark alley and this mofo, contrary to popular belief, really did appear out of nowhere.  And I should also tell you that he kept on at me with the ‘Hey, I just wanna talk’ line as he picked up his pace trying to catch up to me.

If you have something to say, it’s not “I just want to talk.”  You just start talking until you have said what you wanted to say.

This guy was talking about something else entirely, I’m sure of it.

What can I do besides pick up my pace?

I tell him I’ve gotta go because I gotta say something at this point, ignoring him just wasn’t an option, besides at 3am in a dark alley, by yourself – well not so much by yourself anymore –  anyplace but a dark alley at 3am is where you gotta go.

So nah-uh sucka.  Not me.  Not now with me having only two bucks left and a rapidly fading buzz to boot.

It’s just not gonna happen the way you planned it out in your desperate little mind as you patiently watched me stroll through your alley waiting for the perfect moment to make your move.

Yes, I am aware that this is your alley and now if you don’t mind, I’d like to leave you to it.  If I could just be on my way…

So hell yeah my way was in need of me being on it, and fast too, and hell yeah that’s as fast as I’ve ran from anyone besides the cops.

But he still tried to run after me even though he didn’t nearly possess the requisite john-blaze speed that would have been required in this situation, at this time, with these two characters involved.

And no I didn’t look back until I was at the well-lit intersection of Guadalupe and Paseo.

I finally slowed my roll and turned around almost hoping that he was still trying to track me down.  After all, this was finally my own real-life action movie chase scene that I have been dreaming of since the invention of action movie chase scenes.

You bet I was all kinds of ready to get my juke on.

(Un)fortunately our arch nemesis disappeared back into the shadows from which he had so perfectly emerged.

[Cue triumphant John Williams score.]

[Protagonist: drop head, lift eyes to the stars, exhale while you just so slightly don’t look into the camera and shake your head in relief.]

[Fade to black.]

All things considered, I spent only nine bucks last night and I also didn’t get killed on a random street corner in Santa Fe, New Mexico for a measly two dollars, a SD license that looks like a fake,  and my cherished public library card.

I guess my garden will have to wait.  I can only hope my Karma credit isn’t overdrawn after this latest installment of Random brushes with people who would like to do me physical harm –  check out the ‘Good Times’ post from exactly one week ago for the pilot script in what will hopefully be a  short-lived series.

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~ by garcialoca on February 21, 2009.

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