Another Admissions Letter – this time declined

A few days ago I posted here about a college admissions letter that I wrote for a student I have never met and know nothing about.  It’s not the coolest thing I’ve ever done, but it was an experience I don’t think I will ever forget.

Today, I came across another order similarly titled, “Admissions Services – Personal Statement.”  For a brief moment my heart fluttered as I was thinking I would get to recycle the aforementioned admissions letter.  Unfortunately this order is a bit more troubling as its for admissions into a Doctoral program.

As opposed to the other admissions letter with no personal information and no guidelines, this order is quite specific and the person even included their full resume.

I’m not going to take the order for two reasons:

a: Way too many instructions and details for it to only be 3 pages double spaced.

b: For some reason this order pays less than the one I did even though it has more pages and more details.

Fellow WordPressian Alotta Errata left an interesting comment on my post “You Couldn’t Pay Me Enough” in response to my bewilderment at a student in a doctoral program who had to take an Incomplete in one of their courses due to the order not being executed according to the professor’s guidelines.  I was curious as to how this person even got into a Ph.D. program in the first place and why they are still at it if they have to pay people to do their work…

Alotta Errata first commented that they most likely got into a Ph.D. program precisely because they pay people to do their work, to which I mostly agree.  She then replied as to the reason this person might be pursuing a doctorate in the search for landing a high paying gig once they get the degree, to which Alotta Errata says if this is the case, this person is in for quite the shock when they enter the job market.

Which brings me back to this Admission Services – Personal Statement order posted below.  I removed any identifying information, but wanted you all to be able to see just how much effort this person put into coming up with the guidelines (actually they probably just copy/pasted them from somewhere) and the extent of their previous experiences.  Why would someone with this much experience take this circuitous route instead of putting in the one or two hour’s work this letter would require?

Going through our site, uploading the required documents and directions, going through the payment and verification process, and then reading it for review has to take close to an hour by itself – not including the time it would take if the customer wanted to request a revision to the order.

So here’s the order details.  It’s probably not worth reading all the way through, you can get the general idea just scanning it.  As soon as I saw how long the requirements were I knew I wasn’t going to take the order.  Just think, this student might be one of your professors down the line…

Preferred language style: English(U.S.)

I want you to write this statement depending on the following questions,personal information below about me and about the program
A-. Brief professional autobiographical sketch, including a listing of academic preparation, and professional career.
B. What is your reason for wanting a doctorate ( Ed.D) in Educational Leadership and management ?
C. What is your major area of interest?
D. What is your philosophy of education?
E. What qualities do you find necessary in an effective leader?
F. What is your knowledge and/or education experience regarding schooling, university for diverse student populations?
These are the objectives of the program:
Program overview: The EdD is a professional practitioner’s degree. A terminal degree, the EdD is offered on a part-time basis for those wishing a high quality academic program which prepares them for careers in leadership and management.
What is the EdD program’s approach to learning?
• Through action research and specialized courses, graduates acquire expertise in administration, finance, leadership, management, creativity, and strategic thinking.
• Interdisciplinary studies combine learning in the School of Education and The LeBow College of Business.
• The program rests on a theoretical foundation of learning and research in context and of applied learning through performance in practice.
• Learning is embedded within the contexts of candidates’ schools, universities, and states.
• Coursework is completed in a blended format of face-to-face and online learning.
Who should consider the EdD?
• Program graduates can expect to successfully manage and lead public and private schools/districts, universities and colleges, foundations, and government agencies.
• They are prepared to do so in changing local, national, and global contexts.
• Candidates must hold a master’s degree and meet program entrance requirements.
• Candidates can choose from one of two concentration areas – Education Administration (Superintendent Certificate) or Higher Education.
Where and how will the EdD be offered?
• Cohorts of 20 students learn together at the main campus in philadilphia, PA
• The cohort approach enhances learning through student interaction and creates cohesion that supports student completion of the program.
• Face-to-face classes are held Friday evenings and Saturday several times during each academic quarter.
• Two courses per quarter are taken each year, with the initiation of dissertation research in the third year.
• The EdD offers both structure that supports program completion and flexibility that enables the working professional to stay engaged.
• Success with sixty quarter credits beyond a master’s degree and a dissertation are required for graduation.

This is my resume you can refer to it:
Oklahoma City University, Oklahoma City August 2009
Master of Liberal Arts
Emphasis in Leadership and Management

University of Nebraska at Omaha, NE May 2007
International Professional Development
(Global Business Communication, Sales& Negotiation, Business Writing, Listening Skills, Discussion, Corporation Visit Preparation/Seminar, Business Management, Effective Presentation)

College of Arts, Riyadh, Saudi Arabia 2002
English Literature

Girls University, Riyadh April 2004-May 2006
Graduate Student Advisor Ast.
• Organized the admission process
• Assisted students with schedules and enrolling classes
• Communicated with students’ advisors frequently.

Handicapped Children Organization, Riyadh Sep 2002
• Translated documents and letters from English to Arabic
• Represented the organization in the presence of any foreign

High School English Teacher Oct 2002- April 2004
• Taught English as a second language for three intermediate levels.
• Prepared additional classes to strengthen language skills.

Volunteer Experience:
Saudi Cultural Festival, Riyadh Every Summer from 2002-2005

• Responsible of foreign guests during the duration of their staying.
• Participated in the organizing of the festival.
Prince Salman Social Center, Riyadh Summer 2000
• Programmed activities for participants in summer
• Assisted education visiting.
Fluent in Arabic and English
• Computer skills, professional in Microsoft word and PowerPoint
• Events Preparation, preparing wedding and parties.


• Preparing Advertising Portfolio
• School Press Conference

So there it is in all it’s fantastical glory.  Instead of taking this order, I took a shorter one that pays twice as much and doesn’t carry nearly the embarrassing stigma – it’s on why I identify with Shakespeare’s Romeo.

Should be a doozy.


~ by garcialoca on February 22, 2009.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: