Random Tuesday Gallivanting

Happy Tres de Marzo!

According to a Reading University team, the ‘Oldest English Words’ have been identified:

“We use a computer to fit a range of models that tell us how rapidly these words evolve,” said Mark Pagel, an evolutionary biologist at the University of Reading.

“We fit a wide range, so there’s a lot of computation involved; and that range then brackets what the true answer is and we can estimate the rates at which these things are replaced through time.”

Here they are: I, we, two, three (Has a ring to it, no?)

I wonder what happened to ‘one’?

The words predicted to fall to extinction are: squeeze, guts, stick, bad.

For this reason, I intend to do everything in my capacity to keep these suffering words alive.  Bad has so many uses that I don’t see it dying in my lifetime.

“I stick your bad guts and squeeze!”

Here is a lame poem I also came up with:

I, we, two, three

tens of thousands

of years –


being replaced

through time rates –

squeeze, guts, stick, bad.

I also saw a sad sunflower sitting at the Aztec Cafe yesterday:

Wouldn’t you say?

Stem gazing sunflower

standing in faucet water

and vase,

Isn’t it a beautiful day

to be alive?

Ok, so both of those are pretty bad, but I squeezed all of the life out of them I could find.  My sticky guts laugh at us both.

I’m witnessing a Shaggy resurgence on the airwaves the past few days, it must be Spring — ‘Act like you know, Chico.’

I’m not trying to make this like a Twitter feed, but am doing badly at it.  I will stick to my main squeeze – pure guts.  And like Kanye, I did it for the Glory.

I even made sure to give you the dirty version to stick it to the man.  Squeeze all the dignity from his empty guts for his bad smell.

I’ll stop with that word thing now because I’m forcing it, if you didn’t already notice.

I have done something that I have never done before in my life – I read two books, cover-to-cover, in two days.   I was proud of myself because I almost gave up on Camus’ The Stranger last night, but I persevered and saw to it that his indifferent ass got the guillotine.  I wasn’t disappointed.

The other book I mounted was Candy Girl by Chicago-Minneapolis-LA transplant Diablo Cody, of Juno fame.  This is ‘A year in the life of an unlikely stripper.’  It takes place in Minneapolis and I enjoyed recognizing all of the scenery and names and inside jokes about the frozen tundra.  She calls Mpls the ‘White City’ for both all of the snow, and yes, all of the white people.

Here’s a pretty funny interview with Mrs. Cody and Mr. Letterman talking about the book – Dave definitely has a crush on her.

I kind of find her annoying and charming at the same time, akin to the hipster waitresses at the CC Club on Lyndale that I think I’ve posted about here in the past.

Check out this sucker!  Oh, wait.  I still can’t figure out how to post external links within the post, so just copy/paste it to take a gander.  It’s freaking incredibly detailed and anthropomorphic and fantastic.  Thanks to The Rumpus‘ ‘Morning Coffee’ links!

The Theater by Ben Tolman:

I had a record streak at my freelance gig thanks to the influx of mid-term capers I knocked out last week!  I’m off to a great start this week and hope to continue the trend so I can get my Passport and maybe a bus ticket to somewhere in Mexico for the Summer/Fall.  I’m hoping to continue this gig (where I was promoted again for some reason) and at the same time become fluent in Spanish and tutor students in English.

Plus I’ll just kill tacos like everyday!

And margaritas.


~ by garcialoca on March 3, 2009.

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