Lunes

We had a wild weekend here in Santa Fe with snow, sleet, rain, wind, sun, clouds and everything else mixed in.  Today?  Oh, it’s 65 and sunny and of course Monday.

I was over at The Rumpus.net this morning and Sugar,  ‘I’m not Dan Savage,’ sneaks up from behind and flicks the forehead of the Twitterati bringing us our quote of the day:

“As for the Q, it sounds like your partner is engaged in Twittersex.  It’s all the rage with the kids.  Anything worth doing these days should be done in 30 seconds or less.”

Yowza.

This one goes out to all of the unrecognized turtles:

So it was a pretty wacky Easter weekend.  Friday it was windy a cooling off with scattered clouds.  My pop turned 53 and we took him out to lunch at this place called Picolino’s (Picolino’s Picolino’s Picolino’s!!!) down on Agua Fria past Osage going South.  From the outside the place looks like a remodeled fast food joint and I think it might have been in the past – but their menu was like 9 pages, not counting the daily and weekly specials pages.  Hun was the only one not going for meat for Good Friday and it took a her a good 90 seconds to order with the waitress trying to explain to her, in Spanish, what carbonara was and if the espinacas had any meat…  I should have ordered a cerveza like my dad.  He ordered the grilled salmon, and I had the chicken marsala.  All of the plates were served with spaghetti and a veggie stir fry.

I got my dad this summer button down shirt.  Chances he’ll wear it?  3:2 he doesn’t.  I also made him some CD’s with music from his era – Clapton, Neil Young, The Rolling Stones, John Lee Hooker.  I was going to get him Los Lonely Boys, but he’s already got a new ruca so he’s not really that lonely…

Here’s one to spike your adrenaline:

Let’s see, Saturday I worked on editing and re-organizing Not The Autobiography of Olivia Jack (?) and wrote a three college papers for the wanderlust of academia.  I have a 4.7/5 rating there and am considered a Senior Writer after having worked for a few months.  It doesn’t really guarantee you more money, but students can pick me (anonymously) based on my track record.  At least I have the decision to reject an order request and this happens about 90% of the time.

We’re at kind of a lull in the academic season for another week or so.  Most of the orders we see now are the final projects that have been up since the beginning of Spring semester.  These stand out from the rest because they pay the least per page and require a ton of work.  It is rather common to see entire dissertation projects up for grabs.  I’m sure they figure that if they are guaranteed a passing mark it will be worth their time.  I imagine that the majority of these types of customers are trust fund twats or working professionals that just need the degree for a promotion.

Anyway, so in the next week or so we should start seeing an influx of mid-length research essays and discussion board post orders that can be TKO’d with minimal effort and maximum salary.  We get paid based on the amount of turnaround time, the length, the number of required sources, and on the academic level of the order.  During finals rush I thrive on those projects that aren’t necessarily the major assignment of the course, but the ones leading right up to it that factor in to the final grade.  Those 3-5 pagers with 3 sources at the undergrad clip can be processed in less than an hour.  Say the order has a 12 hour turnaround time I could reasonably expect $10-15 a page.  On top of that, if the customer rates your work high enough you get paid a bonus, it’s small, but still.  Like I said, I have 47 positive rankings and that number only reflects the 3 months since they implemented the system.

I am not intending to sound like I’m bragging because the scenario I just described is that uncut primo grade a shit.

Nope.  Most of the time you’re stuck writing a six page research paper that needs at least 2 sources per page with a complimentary title and reference page attached.  The turnaround time of a week decreases the rate.  Meanwhile this is just some University of Phoenix online course at the English composition pay scale asking you to describe the plot, character, tone, narrator, irony, and drama in order to compare and contrast the movie Romeo & Juliet with Shakespeare’s original play.  Sources must come from scholarly journals and try to limit the number of online sources you use.  Must be in APA format.  1″ Margins.  Times New Roman font, 12pt, double spaced.

Students please keep in mind that we adhere to the strictist codes of ethics as regards plagiarism.  All sources must be properly cited and where appropriate.  If any misconduct is suspected the project will receive a Zero and the student will report to the Office of Student Affairs, located at http://www.universityofphoenix.com/osa.

We prefer as little human interaction as possible.

Best,

Administration 974-2imc;[w87?/lml[3b.  Ref # 873515491937435476272

You will need your student identification number and password to log-in.

So that’s what has been copy/pasted into the order description page.  Here is my info for u 2 use when ur done:

Blah, Blah, Blah@uofphoenix.edu  pswd: FML

Six pages.  +-2.5 hours. Less than $50.

You can see the difference.

It’s a racket, I know that.  Shite, they have yet to pay me for the previous pay period.  When I asked some innocent sounding girl on the phone when they had called me (I was late with an order – the only time we speak) when I can expect to receive my payment, she told me that it should go through on the 13th.

Welp, today happens to be the 13th and I checked the site only to see that I have not been paid.  I knew spmething was off when she told me because normally pay periods fall on the 15-17 of the month.

The site says they have experienced an unforseen verfication request through the paying system or some shit.  I read the article in the Chronicle of Higher Education and I’m starting to wonder about the ‘ol term paper hitman prospects for the future.  Hello, once again, Craigslist and Classified ads.

I checked out Postmodern Theory and enjoyed the Table of Contents and the introduction, don’t know if I’ll have the courage or time to read the whole thing, I’ll probably just scan some parts.  It seems pretty well rounded tho, with Foucault, Derrida, Lyotard, Baudrillard, Jameson, Deleuze, Guattari, Nietzsche, Marx, Adorno and Horkheimer, etc… and beyond.  All the big shots in Cultural Studies and Comparative Literature.  I kind of miss my critical theory course from college debating the intricacies of left academic theory.  I always knew that I didn’t completely understand what these thinkers were gettinga at, now I think that might have been the point.

That should probably cover things for now.  I’ve come to the conclusion that my writing will take the form of a collection of short stories within the short story.  It will be included with a catalog of other fantastic stories to complete the publication.  It can be called Not the Autobiography of Olivia Jack? and Other Short Stories.  Or Not OJ and some others!

I’m shooting for 24 thousand something words which would come out to about 135 pages – including some 20-30 pages for illustration.  It will be a self-designed jacket cover, or by someone cooler if that’s the case, and will be sold at a website near you, Fall 2009, for an extremely reasonable price of free99.  I’m gonna have come up with the next outrageous PR coup and catch a virus to sell a single thing, but then again isn’t that what we were going for?

I will most likely publish the mofo right here and copyright that sucker as original content to garcialoca.wordpress.com.  I might actually just buy up the domain garcialoca.com, last I hear it was still available.

I recently read a great book on the modern art movement, The Painted Word by Tom Wolfe.  He writes from an insider’s perspective with lucid form and he’s quick with a quick witticism.  I read it in nearly two and a half hours once I sat down to read.  That is how my story aspires to be read – in one sitting whirlwind territory.  There might even be a whale scene, or at least dolphins.

I also read Balzac’s The Unknown Masterpiece – also a fast rendezvous with a madman, this time a cat named Frenhofer.  He’s a wily ol’ creature with imaginative ballast that consummates the artist’s livelihood.

Some people don’t believe in things like dreams because they don’t delineate between the lines.  I was always confused when professor’s would tell us to read between the lines because it seemed redundant.  On the other hand there is something to be said for the power of repetition in discipline.

Mario Vargas Llogas in his Letters to a Young Novelist believes that to be an artist is an act of rebellion against just such power.  That red-headed bandit Tom Robbins calls us outlaws.  We wish people would recognize them as riots, singular in expression born from a psychotic dance of spontaneity and joy.

Aha – The Joyful Rebellion by K-os

Metaphysical microscopic topic dropper.  Palabs.

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~ by garcialoca on April 13, 2009.

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