Jackin Em Up


So I hadn’t played any basketball for about a week or so because it’s been so windy here back at the ranch.  You know why New Mexico is so windy?

Because Texas sucks and Arizona blows.

Some guy at the gas station offered that one up after seeing my Midwest representation on my driver’s license.  I thanked him for it and have since used it unabashedly.

Anyway, so yeah I went and balled yesterday after work and jesu-cristo I must be getting old.  My back was just killin me and I sorta turned my damn ankle.  Plus my stroke was off and it was windy as a mofo.

All in all a great idea – I think I’m gonna go play again today so I won’t be able to walk tomorrow.

At least I got a lil sun and got to show off my ginormous muskles to the passers-by on Camino Cristobal Colon.

I wag my finger at you Columbo – I’m reading Howard Zinn, I did Cultural Studies, I know, you’re not nearly as rad as those textbooks make you out to be.  In fact, you were quite the egomaniac and Indian killah.

Although I did enjoy learning how to make those hand-turkeys when we studied you near Thanksgiving time in elementary school.  But you ruined that too, didn’t you?  How many turkeys did you kill, Chris?  How many turkeys!!!  Ahhhh!!!!

I don’t get my kicks out of you.

Where’s the Rebel Yell when you need a swig?  Instead I’m just gobbling and strutting trying to not run into any fricken Pilgrims – Unless it’s Billy Pilgrim – then it might be OK.  Billy and I are buds.

I also found out that I write a lot like Sherman Alexie does in Flight.  I read that book in one sitting last night and gobbled it up.  He’s hilarious and poignant and self-mocking and insightful and a way better writer than I am at this point.  At first I was just a stitch de-moralized, but then I realized that I’m just a young turkey not ready to be bested (basted?) on a Wednesday night.

I definitely recommend the book.  It follows Michael the narrator and he loses time, similar to Billy Pilgrim), as he time travels masquerading as a mass murderer, a silenced Indian at The Indian’s Last Stand – a.k.a. – The Battle of Little Big Horn – a.k.a. – Custer’s Last Stand.  Michael also shoots up a bank after getting talked into doing it with a paint gun and a .38 Special by a kid named Justice.  Later Art makes him shoot an already dead man in the face…and so on…

The great thing is that it’s all pulled off with a wink and a smile from Alexie holding the strings.

Hoist.  Moist.  Boist.

Poise. Noise. Toys?

I watched Jeopardy the other night and one of the topics was ‘Oi!’


I totally want to Rosie Perez the shit out of Jeopardy like she does in White Men Can’t Jump.  “Damnit, Billy!  You lost my money again!”

Apparently Woody Harrelson punched the shit out of a paparazzi last week – he must be smokin’ that ditch weed and not that medicinal good goodness…

Here in New Mexico there are only 8 medical conditions for which you can receive a prescription for medical mary jane.  In California I think there are something like 22.  I don’t know which of the 22 a dear ally of mine got a prescription for, but I’m sure they are not doling out ditchweed.

Paparazzi go ahead and take a deep breath.


~ by garcialoca on April 30, 2009.

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